I had a unique experience today, but to tell it I need to give a little background on me.  I have had my heart broken before, and the worst was by a guy who I was actually engaged to, now the story is irrelevant and long-winded but non-the-less it’s one of those where you always imagine that next time you see him kind of moments and dread it continually.  Well, I didn’t have to even think about it until I learned he moved back to my hometown (which is small and everyone I grew up with seems to live on telling me about what the latest news is, which includes news about where my ex is now working). 

I came home today and needed to get a card for my mom (she and I are both graduating) and I decided that since I had come from my interview and was still dressed up I would rather run the risk of seeing him on my terms than by surprise.  So, I walked by where I knew he worked (on my way to get my mom’s card) and I saw him for the first time in almost 3 years.  Now guys may or may not understand this, but girls play out scenarios in our minds all the time and I have to say I’ve done a lot of different ones, but I think I liked the real thing better than I imagined. 

Nothing happened (sorry to ruin the story for anyone wanting a huge fight or brawl…it would have been a possibility had I walked into the store and said hi).  Now don’t take that as I was scared, I considered it, just saying hi and I wish you well, but when I saw him in the store something inside me clicked and it no longer worried me to run into him if ever I am in town.  I am in love with the man of my dreams and yes, ideally, I would have a nice, shiny diamond to make him jealous and K on my arm the first time he saw me, but it doesn’t matter.  I’m happy.  I am better because of the pain that I went through…because it caused me to have to look beyond myself, to look to God, my family, and those who stuck by me through it all and I became a stronger woman because of it and truthfully, I guess I have my ex to thank for that.  So now, I’m ok walking through town when I come home.  I don’t mind running into people because whatever it was that I had gotten in me that scared me so much about the unknown…doesn’t matter.  I am perfectly proud of who I am and if I run into my ex one day, any day, then so be it.  If I never see him again, well, then thats ok with me too, he’s done more than enough.