My Dearest Abba, Father,

I have to begin by simply saying, I’m sorry.  I have not devoted my time or my spirit to you in the way which you deserve.  I have disappointed you both spiritually and physically and, Lord, I come to you now broken.

Father God, I love you desperately, and yet, I find myself continually messing up, falling short, failing you again.  And still you love me!  Still you care for me enough to know the number of hairs on my head!

Right now my faith feels weak.  I feel as though I have no direction and that I am just sitting on a piece of drift wood with no idea where this ocean current is taking me.  God, I know just as you promised Jeremiah, you have promised me plans of a hope and a future, not for destruction…that you know those plans, and you always have.  I know that in James it says that if you draw near to God, He will draw near to you.  It also says that if I want to know the plans you have for me, ask and you will gladly tell me.  Jesus says in Matthew not to worry about food or clothing for you provided for the birds and the lilies and how much more you care for us.  David says in Psalms that you will give us the desires of our hearts in accordance to your will.

God, I want to please you.   want to honor you and be light to the world.  You have made me in such a way that I am not satisfied with the ordinary.  I want to change lives.  I want to be a leader and make a difference.  But I don’t know how.

Sunday I heard the sermon about the impossible and seeing beyond the physical realm into all that you have created, beyond what my mind can even grasp and I ask this tonight.  Lord, you know my “impossibles” and I know you can do all of it.  It is also said in Matthew 17:20 “if you have the faith of a mustard seed…nothing is impossible for you.”  God, my impossible is my job (or lack there of) right now, but first I need help with my faith.  Father, please renew my heart, mind, and soul.  Refresh my faith and make it like a child’s.  I love you.

~Amen~