Most people are at least familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…” It is printed on every graduation card known to man and written in every graduate advice book ever published, but what about the rest of the 65 books or even the rest of Jeremiah for that matter?

We focus all of our energies on this one verse hoping that it will somehow hold all of the answers and when we feel lost and confused we can’t seem to understand why God’s promise to Jeremiah no longer brings us hope and promise to our future.

It’s not because God has left us. It’s not because the promise has changed. It’s because we have become so short-sighted on this one verse of promise that we fail to see where exactly it is that God is leading us in our future.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” In our own visions and ideas of the future, we are in control; we know how to handle every situation that we face. But, if we were to let go of our strong hold on life and truly lean on God in trust and faith beyond what we know, then God would lead us straight past what we plan for ourselves and into some much greater.

David said something similar to Solomon as he knew he was at the end of his life. “Get to know the God of your ancestor. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and with a willing mind. For the LORD sees every heart and understands and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him you will find him.” (1Chronicles 28:9). We don’t serve some ambiguous God, disconnected and uninterested. We serve a God who loves us enough to die on a cross so each and every one of us can not only have a plan and a purpose, but so that we can spend eternity with him once we have lived out that plan he created us for.

I don’t believe that we were necessarily created for one thing, perhaps thousands of little things that affect lives beyond our scope. But whatever it is that we have as our purpose, we will not only change other people’s lives, but have our life changed. From a doctor who saves a life to a teacher who changes a child’s heart to a sales associate whose smile brightens the day of someone stuck in depression.

Lives are changed everyday by you and by me beyond what we see.

The plans that God has for us will be revealed as we seek him, love him and live for him day by day.

In the mornings I, despite griping about the early morning wake up that is required for work, greatly enjoy driving to work because for the first time ever, I catch the sun rise every morning.  I use this glorious sight as my reminder that I am not in control (very obvious by my rushing and running about in the early morning dash to attempt to get out of the house by 6:40 AM) but rather that God is in control of this universe (thankfully) and he has painted this beautiful masterpiece just for me (or so it seems at that moment).

Also in that same moment I often take a breath and begin by simply saying, “Good morning.” I figure I need to get myself squared away before the day truly begins with the general public and the best way to do that is to have my first conversation be with my Father in heaven.  He and I talk all the way into work.  Sometimes just praise for his beauty, and thanksgiving for everything he has given me, sometimes it is a plea for something I feel I need or desire.

This morning I began with a thankful heart, but it was greater than I normal.  For whatever reason I was overwhelm with how much my God has given me and done for me (and human kind) and then I began talking with him about rational and how I just could not understand it.

What was interesting was that I kind of began ranting, not at God but about different topics such as my desire to learn more about the language and context in which His word was written.  Then how some people see the need to dissect each and every word to the point of taking it out of context beyond what was ever actually said.

Interestingly enough, I took that thought to the Constitution, particularly with regards to the first amendment.  We all know “Freedom of religion.”  Our Founding Fathers came from a country whos government was butting into the business of the church, restricting how they were  worshiping Jesus Christ.  When they came and developed  America, they never said to keep Jesus out of the government, ironically, to keep the government our of worshiping Jesus (a little backwards from how it is today interestingly enough).

By the time I got to work I realized I had ranted about several different items but they were all a reflection of my heart.  I love God and I love the thought of defending him in some manner be it through government action via activism or through writing which I havent had enough down time to even stop and grasp them in a single coherent thought (as one might notice here).  I pray for further direction that I can serve Him more.

to know the heart of God…to be in the secret place where He no only en-wraps his loving arms around me–but speaks his words to the very depths of my spirit, my soul.  To have his say to me, “You are mine!” (Isaiah 51:16)  This is my prayer, my longing, my desire.  Each day that I live, I live to further his kingdom; “set my face like a stone determined to do his will.  And I know I will triumph.” (Isaiah 50:7)  My heart cries out to do more…to change the world.  My soul longs to relish in the challenge of…adversity…strengthened by Jesus who says, “I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hands.” (Isaiah 51:16).  What is this longing for?  Why do I have this unrest in my spirit to do so much more than where I am?

“To wait on the Lord is to demonstrate confident expectation. The Hebrew word for wait may also be translated “hope.” To hope in God is to wait for His timing and His action”

Psalm 27:14 reads…

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

So many times this summer I prayed for guidance and direction. I also prayed for patience (which I greatly lack) that I may have hope and “wait upon the the Lord.” The peace and assurance that I live with today and a result of living in God’s plan and will for me and a result of answered prayers for that guidance and direction. Today I was reading Jude (a nice short read if you only have a minimal amount of time) which then took me Daniel 10.

This is one of Daniel’s final visions and concerns him to the point of fasting and praying. For 21 days there was no answer and then an angel comes to him telling him, ““Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven.”

Now there is more to the story but it was that verse that struck a chord with me today. He told him that from the very day he had begun to pray for understanding and to humble himself before God, his request was heard. Not after 7 days or after he had performed the correct rituals. Not from anything but humbling himself before God and submitting his prayer before the the Almighty.

How awesome is our Father that he loves us so much that as soon as we cry out to him he hears us? Think of a young child who has fallen and begins to cry. From inside the house his daddy hears his cries and runs to see what has happened and what he can do to make it better. Sometimes he can mend the cut with medicine the eases the pain while other times all he can do is hold his beloved child hurting deep inside because the wound needs to heal on its own and there will be some pain involved. That is God. When we cry out he hears us and holds us tight, sometimes he can do something to ease the pain while other times He knows that the pain will bring about strength, healing, and wisdom that we wouldn’t be able to gain without going through that hurt. But all the while, he holds us close, whispering in our soul “I love you this much” and he stretches out his hands as wide as he can and there on both hands are the scars of love that he bore on the cross to save us.

I found that waiting on the Lord provides me with peace and assurance. I still struggle sometimes but ultimately it comes down to listening for God’s guidance and trusting in His ways (which are so much better than my own). When you wait upon the Lord he will renew your strength (Is 40:1). Love Hope and Believe.

FINALLY!  I was issued an offer this past Friday from Enterprise rent-a-car and I accepted.  I will be working as a management trainee and *hopefully* move up quickly, as promotions are based on merit (not seniority).  To be honest, I did not see myself working for a company like this when I graduated (nor did I see myself planing to live at home for the next year or so) and yet, here I am.  The interesting thing is, while I feel confident in taking this job and feel that I am making the correct decision, I still have a yearning on my heart to do more.  This is where God’s picture is clear whereas mine is only beginning to piece together (which is ok).  You see, through this position I can gain priceless management experience in a very short amount of time.  I get to learn the workings of a very large and very successful business hands on and at the point when I need to move, transferring to another location gives me limitless options.  I am at ease about my dreams because God has a reason for each step and I know I need to learn business management and that I need experience to be able to successfully complete my dream and this gives me that opportunity with a great company.  So I have two more weeks of freedom until I begin (officially on October 15) and will be trying to adjust my schedule to be prepared for those early mornings.  Please be praying for me as I begin this next step in my journey as I continue to seek God’s will in everything I do.

Last week I went with my parents to a meeting at church because, well, I had nothing else to do.  We ate in the cafeteria (some of the best fries and diet coke mix ever) and brought my computer along for the ride.  I figured that as much time as I burn on-line doing nothing, I could entertain myself for a couple hours in a different environment and at least get out of the house for a little bit.  What transpired amused me.  The Internet was running slow so I pulled up an empty Word document and just started typing.  Rather than going back to the mindless Internet nonsense that I was wasting my time with, I began writing and writing (much like I do on here).  It wasn’t about anything in particular, but had an interesting focus toward teenagers and achieving dreams (no real surprise there, huh?).  But what was surprising is that I wrote for the full two hours straight (about four pages worth) with only a few distractions.  That made me think, how amazing would it be if I could compile my thoughts coherently so that I could write on one topic every time that I wrote.  That way as I wrote those four pages in a couple hours I had on hand, I could then write a few more, multiplying it faster than I could ever imagine and actually think about putting it into a book form to begin editing (something that I do need to work on).  Just thoughts to pass the time, but what could possibly be useful to someone else…here now after only 10 minutes or so I’ve already accumulated a total of 288 words (well it was 288 at the point that I wrote the number obviously now it is over 300, but I imagine that you get my general point).  What an amazing thought…

I’m not really sure when exactly, but somewhere between the time of my introduction to adolescent stupidity and graduating to the utter confusion of young adulthood I made the assumption that by the end of college I would have things figured out.  Now of course I’m not talking about the BIG THINGS that people ponder for ages until their gray in wonder and we’re all bored in thought, but I’m talking about the basics: what I would do in life or at least for the first part of my life, where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do.  Those are those wonderfully intricate questions that 50-year-old teachers like to ask 8 to 6-year old kids because they get the big, out-of-this-world kind of answers like, “I want to be the president!” (before they know what that job actually entails and how much it take to get there and how by the end of that job no one likes you and most of the people who voted for you are now trying to get you impeached) or “I want to be an astronaut!” (before they realize the amount of schooling and training that it requires and how few people who start out on that path actually go into space) or a teachers personal favorite, “I want to be a teacher!” (then of course they don’t realize that teachers receive no money for the amount of hassle that they have to deal with and depending on the county depend on how much say they will actually have not even going into the fact that teachers are no longer allowed to do anything in the classroom that remotely resembles discipline or love, for example teachers can only give their students a hug if the child initiates it).  When I was asked that when I was six, I said I wanted to be a mom (imagine that, I had–and have–the best example of a mom there could ever be, I still do, I just want to have a job as well).

Now, I don’t know why exactly I made this assumption that by now I would have these things figured out.  I guess it has something to do with the idea that I knew that after college I would get a job, get married, and settle down.  I suppose that in my figuring I just never figured enough that I would remain as jumbled and mixed up in what I felt led to do as when I was in middle and high school.  It surprises me I suppose is what I’m saying.  It’s not doubt or self pity or anything negative, just simple amusement in my own silly assumptions (now we know what happens when we assume…:-) ) and shock that I am still so mixed up in the head (some of the people I know would have plenty of comments for that one!).

That’s all I suppose.  Just the thoughts for today.

I’m spending the weekend back in Gainesville (ahh, so beautiful) because a friend of mine will be moving to Austin and this is his last weekend in Florida.  We ate at Satchels (the best pizza ever…and definitely a local Gainesville joint and eclectic to every extent, awesome) and then we went to a friends place and played games (yes, that is the best kind of party there is btw).  Today we had a cookout at the trouse and played wuffle (sp?) ball (for anyone who doesn’t know, it’s, how I described it, extreme baseball (you can throw the ball and hit people to tag them out, for example).  After cleaning up, went to church and went to a movie.  Not sure what’s on the agenda for tomorrow (besides sleeping in) but it’s been fun (minus a couple mishaps–> K may have RE-TORN his RIGHT knee (supposedly the one that was his good knee, operated on 3 years ago with no further problems…till today, and then Meggles sprained her ankle after being struck out and somewhat diving over a cone on the field…we play kinda rough in this group sometimes though not at all on purpose).

Now like I said this was a weekend for Drew, a friend who graduated with his masters and will be moving back home to Texas to his perfect job (literally, it is the essentially the job that he wanted to do for a company he’s interned for previously..it worked out beautifully).  So to Drew I wish the best of luck when you leave on Thursday and I know you will be noting but successful.  May God bless your life and your dreams.  Until you visit

In Jesus’ ministry he heals the blind more than once, sometimes with mud, sometimes with touching their eyes, sometimes with simply saying it is so.  At the end of Matthew 20 Jesus is walking with a rather large crowd toward Jerusalem for Passover (and what will be His final hours) when two blind beggars cry out to him for help-to have mercy on them.  Though the crowd tries to quiet them, Jesus stops and asks a propelling question, “What would you like me to do for you?”

Stop and think about that for a minute.  If the God of the Universe just asked you what can I do for you…what would you say?  Now for these men calling out they answered “we want to see.”  And Jesus opened their eyes and then they followed him.

I was inspired to write this by the sermon I heard this morning at Calvary Chapel Melbourne which was in fact based off of this piece of scripture.  What got to me was that question: If God came up to me and asked me, “What would you like me to do for you?” what would I say?  Would I short-sight God?  I’ve written about an idea that has been laid on my heart, with very few details, but if I were to ask God for it, would I think too small for what He really has planned for that future ministry?  Or if I were to ask about my other issue (jobs) would I be too small in thinking and simply ask that I have one so I can no longer be unemployed?  At the same time I was dealing with a migraine (something that often plagues me and is not simply a hinderance but can put me out of commission if bad enough).  Would I ask him for healing when in His big picture my pain can be used for something that is somehow beyond my understanding?

As you can see it’s not the simple question one might originally think.  I began to settle on revelation (or rather, asking for it).  Asking for clear and explicit details on what and how I am supposed to serve God (in what compasity, working where, whole nine yards).  But then I realized, he answers that when we ask for it–> In HIS time (thats whats hard for me).  You see, I’ve had a difficult time the past couple months being out of school and not working because I believed thats what I was supposed to do.  God showed me that I was needed at home pretty quickly and I accepted that (somewhat unhappily at first but grew to adjust).  Now as the summer is winding down, I’m beginning to wonder what time frame I am here for.  I still have that passion and dream for the organization for teen girls but I have a drive to advocate and lobby (something I have always loved and is actually in my field of study) for issues that matter to me.  I began to wonder if that organization is something that might derive from a youth group somewhere down the line after I’ve been able to volunteer and get to know some kids, talk to them, build those relationships.  Maybe pull some other female youth volunteers and have that as the get go, in one youth group and ave it develop from there to wherever God wants it to go.

Ultimately, “we want to see”  I want to see God in His glory.  I want to see where I am supposed to be to best exude the light that he shines from me.  I want to reach the lost in ways I didn’t think I could because I was scared.  I want to see Jesus in a dark world where He is needed the most.  Jesus, I want to see.

Some pictures of me and K!

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