Most people are at least familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…” It is printed on every graduation card known to man and written in every graduate advice book ever published, but what about the rest of the 65 books or even the rest of Jeremiah for that matter?

We focus all of our energies on this one verse hoping that it will somehow hold all of the answers and when we feel lost and confused we can’t seem to understand why God’s promise to Jeremiah no longer brings us hope and promise to our future.

It’s not because God has left us. It’s not because the promise has changed. It’s because we have become so short-sighted on this one verse of promise that we fail to see where exactly it is that God is leading us in our future.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” In our own visions and ideas of the future, we are in control; we know how to handle every situation that we face. But, if we were to let go of our strong hold on life and truly lean on God in trust and faith beyond what we know, then God would lead us straight past what we plan for ourselves and into some much greater.

David said something similar to Solomon as he knew he was at the end of his life. “Get to know the God of your ancestor. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and with a willing mind. For the LORD sees every heart and understands and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him you will find him.” (1Chronicles 28:9). We don’t serve some ambiguous God, disconnected and uninterested. We serve a God who loves us enough to die on a cross so each and every one of us can not only have a plan and a purpose, but so that we can spend eternity with him once we have lived out that plan he created us for.

I don’t believe that we were necessarily created for one thing, perhaps thousands of little things that affect lives beyond our scope. But whatever it is that we have as our purpose, we will not only change other people’s lives, but have our life changed. From a doctor who saves a life to a teacher who changes a child’s heart to a sales associate whose smile brightens the day of someone stuck in depression.

Lives are changed everyday by you and by me beyond what we see.

The plans that God has for us will be revealed as we seek him, love him and live for him day by day.

In the mornings I, despite griping about the early morning wake up that is required for work, greatly enjoy driving to work because for the first time ever, I catch the sun rise every morning.  I use this glorious sight as my reminder that I am not in control (very obvious by my rushing and running about in the early morning dash to attempt to get out of the house by 6:40 AM) but rather that God is in control of this universe (thankfully) and he has painted this beautiful masterpiece just for me (or so it seems at that moment).

Also in that same moment I often take a breath and begin by simply saying, “Good morning.” I figure I need to get myself squared away before the day truly begins with the general public and the best way to do that is to have my first conversation be with my Father in heaven.  He and I talk all the way into work.  Sometimes just praise for his beauty, and thanksgiving for everything he has given me, sometimes it is a plea for something I feel I need or desire.

This morning I began with a thankful heart, but it was greater than I normal.  For whatever reason I was overwhelm with how much my God has given me and done for me (and human kind) and then I began talking with him about rational and how I just could not understand it.

What was interesting was that I kind of began ranting, not at God but about different topics such as my desire to learn more about the language and context in which His word was written.  Then how some people see the need to dissect each and every word to the point of taking it out of context beyond what was ever actually said.

Interestingly enough, I took that thought to the Constitution, particularly with regards to the first amendment.  We all know “Freedom of religion.”  Our Founding Fathers came from a country whos government was butting into the business of the church, restricting how they were  worshiping Jesus Christ.  When they came and developed  America, they never said to keep Jesus out of the government, ironically, to keep the government our of worshiping Jesus (a little backwards from how it is today interestingly enough).

By the time I got to work I realized I had ranted about several different items but they were all a reflection of my heart.  I love God and I love the thought of defending him in some manner be it through government action via activism or through writing which I havent had enough down time to even stop and grasp them in a single coherent thought (as one might notice here).  I pray for further direction that I can serve Him more.

I feels like forever since I have written anything but after working my fist full week at my branch (and going in tomorrow as well) I just haven’t found the time yet.  The term of phrase “finding time” reminds me of what my dad often told me when I said that I didn’t have time for something:

Everyone as 24 hours in a day, its a matter of making time for the things that are important

Profound if you truly think about.  Like I said, I spent this week at work, much like the majority of America does (about 52 hours of my 120 in 5 days).  So, hypothetically, that leaves me 68 hours (the majority of my time) to do what needs to be done Even with working overtime.  Ok, not bad.   Now lets say I actually got 8hrs of sleep a night, there goes 40 of my hours and suddenly I’m left with 28 to make something worth while.  That’s just over 5 hours a day that I would use to get ready, eat dinner, and spend time with friends/family, as well as anything I deemed necessary or important (for example, I do devotions in the mornings).

Now I drew out that long hypothetical math equation to make a point.  If I only had 5 hours a day to put toward the things of importance, how important are they?

I know there are people who have to work 50-60 hours a week (I am required to work 49) but if you have children and a family and do not have to work those hours…why are you?  What are you showing is important in your life, showing as your top priority.  In the same manner, if you have time to offer, why not volunteer for something that would benefit others?  Make the time to make a difference.

We make our time worthwhile by what we do with it, not by how much we have because ultimately, we all have 24 hours to work with.  What are you making time for?

I finally just sat down and took a breath. I suppose having my music blasting, jumping around, doing push-ups and sit-ups is all a little random-especially in the middle of my hotel room. You see, tomorrow I have a test (go figure, I graduate and I get tested). Enterprise tests their MT at the end of training, asking that you get a minimum of 80% on a 53 question short answer test.

Now, I procrastinated a lot in school but I really did mean it when I said that when I began my job I would try my best to do well, exceptionally well if at all possible. Now, I have a test that I “have” to pass!

I’m not narrating all of this to you to tell you of a stressful end to an enjoyable week. It’s more of our evaluations that I am observing and making note of in my own life. Like I said, and like anyone who knows me would happily contest, I am a procrastinator. From term papers to laundry, if it did not need to be done that exact moment-it could wait. I always viewed work a little differently however.

I pride myself in good work ethic and in doing so, can not procrastinate for work. I arrive early and stay until the job is done (not excessively mind you, but I make sure to do a good job). Now, as I face a “test” in coordination with work I am faced with a conundrum that leaves me somewhat…psychotic and generally stressed (see starting paragraph).

As I grow further away from my lovely days of college (*tear*) I am beginning to understand the importance of my priorities. Not to say that work is #1, but it is higher than I put some of the papers I didn’t write until the night before(which, yes-to my parents reading this-should have been higher, I know). I sit here and evaluate where I am right now and I am trying to configure a conceptual picture of where I want to be in the next year, because in reality my career-unlike many others-moves in a monthly basis for the first 5 years (or so). In two years I can be promoted three times, managing my own branch with a handful of employees and a fleet of cars that I am responsible for, driving a company car and living comfortably, able to give back more than I dreamed I would ever be able to. When I sit here, in this moment, it is a little hard to imagine that (especially seeing as I will still be under 25, the age that you no longer have to pay an extra fee to rent a car-ironic isn’t it?).

So as I finish up tomorrow I begin to compile my goals (which I’ll start to make more specific as I meet with my branch and area manager) but starting with a 6 month time frame for my first promotion (that is given after passing a comprehensive evaluation…a test)

Today was my first day at work (and the rest of my life flashes before my eyes…sigh).  No, I’m just kidding.  As a vibrant young 21-year-old I cling to the hopes of the new and exciting, the unexplored terrain and uncharted territories- in this case, the branch office of Enterprise Rent-a-car at 905 US 1 Vero Beach, FL.

Truthfully, I am excited about my new job.  It is my first salaried job and even now, tired after not sleeping well last night, getting up early to make sure I got up, and leaving home at 7 to make sure I beat traffic since I am not familiar with the flow of it at those hours, then working until 5.  I am anxious and a little frustrated because today (and tomorrow) I can’t do anything but observe interactively.

Basically, I am going to work but because I don’t have training until next week I can not do 3/4 of my job so, I stand around, feel in the way and useless and some-what bored.  I try to pay attention as they verbally and visually explain things to me (which everyone there is great, thank God for that).  And some things I get (I can do the first step for checking in the car, by that I mean check it and write down the mileage) then I know what to do if someone needs their car checked out for Geico (I can do that!).  I’m hesitant to answer phones because it is one of three things: 1. reserve a rental (can not do yet) 2. ask a question (I typically do not have an answer that would be adequate or appropriate at this time) or 3. have a diver pick them up (I could do that, but with odds of 1 in 3 I figure it’s not a good bet).

In all, it makes for a hard day for me (not hard as in difficult, hard as in frustrating).  I am excited and thrilled to start (kind of, I mean, now that I’ve begun who knows when it will ever end!) but, there are some kinks and yes, yes, I know I have only been there one day, but I want to do well.  I want to succeed and get promoted and not sit around waiting for people to do things for me, which basically makes this, as I said difficult.  But now, I am tired and I need to try and go to sleep again (I got up to write this because I couldn’t get to sleep before).  So probably until next week after training, I say goodnight.

FINALLY!  I was issued an offer this past Friday from Enterprise rent-a-car and I accepted.  I will be working as a management trainee and *hopefully* move up quickly, as promotions are based on merit (not seniority).  To be honest, I did not see myself working for a company like this when I graduated (nor did I see myself planing to live at home for the next year or so) and yet, here I am.  The interesting thing is, while I feel confident in taking this job and feel that I am making the correct decision, I still have a yearning on my heart to do more.  This is where God’s picture is clear whereas mine is only beginning to piece together (which is ok).  You see, through this position I can gain priceless management experience in a very short amount of time.  I get to learn the workings of a very large and very successful business hands on and at the point when I need to move, transferring to another location gives me limitless options.  I am at ease about my dreams because God has a reason for each step and I know I need to learn business management and that I need experience to be able to successfully complete my dream and this gives me that opportunity with a great company.  So I have two more weeks of freedom until I begin (officially on October 15) and will be trying to adjust my schedule to be prepared for those early mornings.  Please be praying for me as I begin this next step in my journey as I continue to seek God’s will in everything I do.

I am a qualified recent graduate from the University of Florida.  I have my Bachelor’s in Political Science and have a passion for making a difference (as naive as it might be, I still care about people).  I have tremendous leadership skills that I have been fine tuning throughout my college years by volunteering for my young adult program, called Origins.  This pushed me to think outside the box on a creative team for ideas that would appeal to other 18-40somethings and pull them into the program, interested and more than intrigued.  I also had to be outgoing, talking to people of all cultures and backgrounds; letting them know what we were all about, why we were doing what we were doing and what made us different from everyone else (another creative streak).  Besides this, I have excellent work ethic.  I loved college but still graduated in only three years.  I accomplished this by starting early through duel enrollment my senior year of high school, then scheduling classes each summer.  This required incredible responsibility early on as well as learning the jewel of time management.  This allowed me to not only schedule my classes well (my last semester I didn’t have classes on Fridays) but allowed me time to work when needed and to volunteer as wanted.  I did a lot during my time in school and loved every minute of it.

What I didn’t do excessively was work.  I was blessed to not have to work and so besides holding a couple part time jobs, I didn’t.  I was at college for my education and that was my job.  What upsets me now is that I am being penalized for that decision.  Every employer I have interviewed with tells me, “well…you’re experience is a little weak…”  I’m sorry if this is rude and some-what out of line but when I hear that all I can think is, yeah and what’s you’re point?! I just graduated from college for crying out loud!  I can’t get a job where I want to because I haven’t worked and they wouldn’t have hired me there before because I didn’t have a degree!  Am I missing something?  No, I don’t have any famous connections or incredible networks to get a job for me so I’m trying my best to do it myself and I’m coming up dry.  I’ve been looking for a job for over a year and I still can’t find anything.  Right now I’m struggling to work out a second interview with a sales company (because that is the only experience I have at all much to my dismay).

If you are an employer, please tell me what I am missing because I am obviously missing something huge.  I know people that don’t care, that don’t want to work, that just do the job.  I want a job where I can love what I do, to want to go to work.  Even if it is a administrative assistant position for a company that I care about, that works for me.  What am I missing?

On May 15th I posted a single verse for the day.  It was Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.”  I keep telling myself this today as I called back about a job interview and heard again that they are concerned about my lack of experience and so it’s “not looking good for me” because of that.

Casting Crowns is a Christian group that writes its songs to minister to the church and people who already call themselves Christians.  On their album, Lifesong, there is a song called “Praise You in the Storm.”  Right now I feel that storm.  I feel the winds of doubt and unqualified drafts wipping me around this way and that.  I feel the rain of not being good enough pelting down on to my head, drenching me with questions, and yet I find myself comforted by the assurance of God being there beside me.  He placed a dream in my heart and I know that I can’t do it on my own, but only through him.  There is a coat of assurance that I put on knowing that I will praise my God no matter what because he can see beyond today and His plans are so much greater than mine and block out the rain and the wind.

God gives us plans that are bigger than ourselves for a reason, so we HAVE to depend on him.  Take Gideon for example.  In Judges 6 we learn about this pitiful “mighty warrior of God” who when we are introduced to him, he is hiding in a wine press!  God doesn’t see who we are he sees who we are going to be through His strength.  For Gideon, he did become a mighty warrior who led the Israelites from their captivity against the Midionites, to the freedom God promised–only through following God’s direction.

I trust my God, I trust his plan for me (Jer. 29:11) and I know His plans are so much greater than mine.  So, I cry and pray and lean on God to show me the way that I should go and I continue to fight for a position I feel qualified for (no matter what lies Satan puts in my head otherwise).  Until I get a definite no, there is always hope because there is always God (and even then he sometimes makes exceptions)

I know I haven’t written in almost two weeks but my reason is valid–nothing has happened.  Really.  I mean, it was very exciting that my parents are moving forward with their plans around the house (including by the pool) and have purchased a tiki hut, which has be masterfully erected behind the pool with more to follow (I’ll get a picture up here as soon as I find my connections for my camera…I think they’re in my trunk somewhere).  But anyway, as far as me personally, I have been trying to track down reference forms so I can get on the sub list (what I thought was going to be a simple task has turned into an ordeal) and waiting for this week (week #3) to call Valencia Community College about a job I applied for (they told me 3-6 weeks before interviews would occur).  Beyond there, the most exciting things I’ve done was pressure wash the pool deck and porch for my dad and drive to Fort Drum about a girth for the saddle we bought.

Reality is I’m so fed up with everything that I’m at wits end (which makes me think of Eago in Aladdin when Jafar says that and he repeats it, “aarh (or however you write the noise a parrot makes) wits end”).  But seriously, I had a long conversation with God in the car on the drive home tonight about the job stuff, passions, even personal spirit stuff.  I think ok, I know we’ve talked it out, I know you answer prayers clearly and you know that right now I desire to follow your will and just want a job that allows me to do that…please show me the way.  Nothing is falling into place.  I’m moving forward every where I can and it’s like all of those places have been halted.  I continue to search for jobs with an open heart whether in lobbying, non-profit, or teaching and still nothing has opened and I want to lobby more than ever as I learn about non-profits.  Ugh!  Then I come home and get an unexpected welcome when I get fussed at and close to accusations thrown towards Kyle not caring about my well-being…eh…I need to sleep now because I’ve had all I can deal with for today and definitely for tonight.

I leave you with a verse from Hosea 6:3

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises,

he will appear;

he will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

I’m not really sure when exactly, but somewhere between the time of my introduction to adolescent stupidity and graduating to the utter confusion of young adulthood I made the assumption that by the end of college I would have things figured out.  Now of course I’m not talking about the BIG THINGS that people ponder for ages until their gray in wonder and we’re all bored in thought, but I’m talking about the basics: what I would do in life or at least for the first part of my life, where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do.  Those are those wonderfully intricate questions that 50-year-old teachers like to ask 8 to 6-year old kids because they get the big, out-of-this-world kind of answers like, “I want to be the president!” (before they know what that job actually entails and how much it take to get there and how by the end of that job no one likes you and most of the people who voted for you are now trying to get you impeached) or “I want to be an astronaut!” (before they realize the amount of schooling and training that it requires and how few people who start out on that path actually go into space) or a teachers personal favorite, “I want to be a teacher!” (then of course they don’t realize that teachers receive no money for the amount of hassle that they have to deal with and depending on the county depend on how much say they will actually have not even going into the fact that teachers are no longer allowed to do anything in the classroom that remotely resembles discipline or love, for example teachers can only give their students a hug if the child initiates it).  When I was asked that when I was six, I said I wanted to be a mom (imagine that, I had–and have–the best example of a mom there could ever be, I still do, I just want to have a job as well).

Now, I don’t know why exactly I made this assumption that by now I would have these things figured out.  I guess it has something to do with the idea that I knew that after college I would get a job, get married, and settle down.  I suppose that in my figuring I just never figured enough that I would remain as jumbled and mixed up in what I felt led to do as when I was in middle and high school.  It surprises me I suppose is what I’m saying.  It’s not doubt or self pity or anything negative, just simple amusement in my own silly assumptions (now we know what happens when we assume…:-) ) and shock that I am still so mixed up in the head (some of the people I know would have plenty of comments for that one!).

That’s all I suppose.  Just the thoughts for today.