Last night Kyle was playing around with Snoopy and somewhere along the way Snoopy got scared of Kyle (for whatever reason, we still aren’t sure).  Anyway, he comes into the office where I am on the computer.  I continued working but when I no longer heard him in the closet (which he will sometimes check out and sniff around), I got up to see what he was doing.  My dog was lying in the far corner of our spare closet!  #1 pathetic-ness of the evening.  Because Kyle felt bad, he let Snoopy do something we normally do not do–he let him sleep on the bed.

Now I don’t know if your dog does the same thing or not but Snoopy likes to stretch out.  And if he fills the entire space allotted, he pushes his feet and back against whatever, or whoever, happens to be in his way.  Needless to say, Kyle and I ended up sleeping on either edge of the bed while Snoopy enjoyed the lap of luxury in the middle. #2 pathetic-ness (plus a couple more for throughout the night.  I have to admit I was scared of getting up last night, worried that my dog would completely take over my spot on the bed!).

Now, there are some mornings that I invite him to come up on the bed after Kyle leaves for work, but Snoopy usually stays there for a little bit and then goes to the door to bark at the wind.  This morning, after I woke up slightly cramped I made Snoopy get off the bed.  He didn’t move (#3 or 4 pathetic-ness).  Now, he is only 50 pounds and I can lift him with little problem, but you know when a child is throwing a temper tantrum and all a sudden they seem to gain 100 pounds because you can no longer just lift them up?  That exact same dead weight is what Snoopy did.

We did manage to get him off the bed and after Kyle and I did our devotions before he left for work, we discover Snoopy lying on the comforter on the side of the bed (#5 pathetic-ness).  I just had to laugh.

Snoopy is adorable, not to heavy to snuggle with, but I have to say, there are some times that the pathetic-ness goes into over drive…Just makes me love him all the more.  Look who’s pathetic now.

I grew up enjoying a plethora of music.  We had Phantom of the Opera, Amy Grant, Reba McEntire, even Paula Abdul.  We owned Michael W. Smith and DC Talk, even some Yanni was thrown in the mix.  So I suppose with a varied introduction to music, it shouldn’t be any surprise that it became a passion of mine.  Chorus was the highlight of my elementary years and I advanced to band for my middle and high school days.  I continued to either play my trumpet or sing on the church praise team throughout college and I am now looking forward to joining my new churches praise team.

Over the past year, I experienced a strange longing that I never knew was real.  I wasn’t a part of any extra curricular musical activities and when I was in the midst of praise or a performance, my heart ached.  I discovered some time ago that one of my favorite forms of worship is through music so I suppose that shouldn’t be surprising, but I never knew how much it gets into your very soul.

I was privileged to play with a band that was extraordinarily good.  If anyone has heard of the prestige of the Mid-West festival (an international music conference), my high school played there Dec 2003.  It was amazing to be known as a well accomplished musician and to realize that I was playing music that some lower professionals couldn’t play.  Now, don’t take this as tooting my own horn (no pun intended).  I was no where near the best player there, or even in my own section (trumpets by the way).  Simply, I learned to appreciate the opportunity that I had been given.

To make music well comes from the soul.  You hear about artists of all forms, painters and musicians and dancers alike and you discover that their imagination is vast.  To be a true master of an art, it has to come from the soul.  I suppose that is why I find music as my favorite form of worship.  I can’t sing or play praises half way.  If I do…it’s usually not very pretty or joyous.  But when I play from the depths of my soul, I feel as if I am worshiping alongside all the beings of heaven and that’s where I want to be.

I received a notice today from a friend of mine.  She is involved with a new non-profit called the Greenhouse Project.  This organization is based through an orphanage in Uganda, striving to survive in a country that has been torn apart by civil wars for longer than these children have been alive.  They are using funds from an art grant to go to Africa, teach the kids art, bring back those pieces that the children create, and sell them as support to keep this safe haven alive.  For some, it is a chance to have their voice heard in a world that seems determined to shut them up.

As soon as I saw that my friend was still raising funds, I asked my husband how much we could send.  I wrote the check in that same sitting.  I am so proud of her heart.  She has a heart for those who need help and she is doing something about it.

That is Christianity at work.  My friend taking the summer to assist and determine where the need is in this orphanage is a step of faith.  She is being the salt of the earth and light in a dark world.

“Christian” has quickly become an adjective as opposed to the verb that it is.  How we can sit around as the world crumbles on all fronts is beyond me.  I suppose this is why I find myself at such peace right now.  I don’t have a job, I live in an apartment complex whose prices raise significantly each year, etc…there is a plethora of “stuff” that I could easily allow to drown me in sorrow, worry, and depression.  But I have my hope in Jesus my Lord.  I have a home.  My husband has a good job.  We are blessed to have friends and family who love and care for us.  Even our puppy brings a smile to the faces of the passersby as he appears to always have one on his.  Now, I have a friend who I have seen go through the trenches, also known as high school, and has come out, a semester from graduating college with a degree in theology, and has focused on others–loving and caring for those who are considered unlovable.

That is peace.

I joke about the unrest in Israel, asking my family if they are ready to go home.  They smile and say ‘better believe it.’  How about you?  Each one of you has a choice.  Choose Jesus or Choose hell for eternity.  Jesus=peace, hell=well, hell, eternal suffering and unrest.  Simple choice, simple answer.  The unrest, the deteriorating of morals and of “Christians” standing for tolerance rather than Jesus and the Bible…it is a very clear sign of the second coming of Jesus.

But for anyone who has not made the choice for Jesus, beware, in the twinkling of an eye, he will be here and gone.  When you go to work or to school and see the empty chairs, the missing people, you can no longer say that you were never warned.

Jesus is coming and this time, the devil is going to be allowed to take over and put hell on earth-unlike any destruction and misery that you can ever imagine.  I would suggest choosing the peace now, but that is just my opinion.

It has been a long time since my last post.  It seems that with wedding plans coming down to the wire, my mind is everywhere.  I have projects laying around the house on about every available surface, trying to figure out the final items that I need to move up to Orlando and the best possible timing for that, then I decided somewhere along the way that I wanted to try and write a book.  Fun, but as I get further into it, the more “work” it becomes of course.  Then there is the highlight of the season (not that my wedding isn’t)…Operation Christmas Child.

Some may be familiar with it as the shoe box ministry.  The entire process of the giver is to take a regular sized shoe box (6 qt) and fill it with small toys, hygiene items, hard candy, school supplies, ect and drop it off as a relay center that gets it to the processing center before it is flown around the world and delivered to children who have nothing.  For most of these kids, this is the only gift that any have ever received.  For that reason it is also encouraged to include a little note to the kids, letting them know that they matter.

This seemingly simple ministry can change the lives of children and give them the encouragement they desperately need.  I have the pleasure of having a 19 year old girl, who received a shoe box in Russia when she was 10, living with us now.  Her story is amazing.  It is everything from every form a abuse to not being wanted by her own mother to having the teachers at the orphanage telling her that she was worthless.  (that is obviously the simplified version of her very detailed testimony).  What it all comes down to is that when she received a shoebox and the note inside it told her that she mattered and that the family that had packed that shoe box loved her all because she was a child of God, her life changed.  Someone in the world thought that she mattered, that she was created for a reason.  She was not just a worthless piece of trash to be kicked around and taken advantage of.   She was CREATED BY GOD FOR A PURPOSE.

Now, as the Teen Spokesperson for Samaritan’s Purse and Operation Christmas Child, she is spreading the word and that love that was shown to her almost a decade ago.  She is changing lives by her own life and that is a powerful testimony.

Please consider packing a shoe box for a child in need this year.  The official collection week is November 17-24 and there is still plenty of time.  For more information and the locations of where you can drop off your shoe box, please go to www.samaritanspurse.org and click on the Operation Christmas Child link on the right side of the page.  Thank you for your gift and Merry Christmas!

I always find it interesting when I have a jumble of thoughts bouncing around in my head, but yet, can’t seem to grasp a hold of a single one enough to process it and move on.  For example, as I am now a few months within my wedding, I am constantly going through what still needs to be completed, what has been done but will need another look, and when I need to begin working on the next project.  I also am in the process of writing an extensive look at being a “radical Christian” (I’ll touch on that another time), and what are 5 simple ways to be effective for the kingdom that people may overlook.  This is interesting because very rarely do I have an extended thought on the same topic.  Usually I get on my soap box, say what I need to say, get off and put it away until the next subject crosses my path.  With this “project” I have gotten myself into, I am challenged to stay focused on this one topic without wandering too much.  But in the same fashion, I have to connect enough pieces of information, fact and opinion, in order to make it a length worth reading (10 pages just doesn’t seem to cut it, if you know what I mean).

And as I have all of this floating and colliding, I am kept up late trying to focus on at least one of them so that I might be able to write it down, get it out of my head so I can (hopefully) catch some shut-eye…restful sleep preferably.

Maybe in another 11 weeks…

Prayer is something that churches talk a lot about but talk a lot to. In other words, “PRAY for the afflicted”
“PRAY for healing” “PRAY for answers and wisdom.” These are pertinent to the Christian walk, but what does it actually mean?

Jesus said it like this when his disciples when they asked how to pray, “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tel you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go to your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray:

Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.”

First of all Jesus isn’t saying you can only pray kneeling next to your bed with the door locked, all by yourself. He is saying not to be a show. So many have decided to, rather than being a light for others through how they LIVE, but to “witness” by being a Bible basher, screaming condemnation from the street corners and by praying loud and extensive prayers that people have to take notice of.

We are called to be the “salt of the earth” and a “light in the darkness.” This involves LOVING EVERYONE BUT HATING THE SIN. This involves living the lives that we would want Jesus to be proud of. This involves being not of this world. The Bible also commands us to pray continuously, which can (and should) be done without needing to create a stage for yourself, putting yourself in the limelight.

The second part of what Jesus was saying in Matthew is what people call the “Lord’s prayer.” In fact this is more of a students prayer, not to be recited word for word each and every day. It is a guideline of what can be said. One this that can be noted that we just read right over is the very beginning. “Our Father.” In the Greek, the word that was used is ‘Abba’, better translated to ‘Daddy.’

Years ago, my sister and I gave my dad a plaque for father’s day that read, “Any man can be a father, but only a special man can be a dad.” There is a distinct difference between these two names. It’s not the formality, it’s the relationship. A father gives his DNA to his child, a Daddy gives his heart and his life. Our Father in heaven created us to have an intimate relationship with him, like a DADDY and his child who he would give his life for (and he did on the cross at Calvary).

Now, the easiest way to pray is to talk like you would to a daddy, in conversation and the best part is not having someone to talk to, but someone who talks back. Just yesterday I prayed that my fiance’s flight would not be delayed much longer (he had been waiting for about 4 hours and they still had an “unknown” departure). This may sound like a petty prayer to be lifted up to the creator of the universe but he was tired and worn out, just wanted to be home, even if only for the night. My heart ached for him and I knew that there was only one who could get the pilot there so they could take off. Not even 5 minutes after I said the prayer, I got a call saying they were loading the plane and getting ready to take off. My prayer was answered.

This is one of endless examples that I could give of answered prayers. Some claim these are “coincidences” but I can guarantee any individual who had a lump in an MRI and then it miraculously disappears in the next doctors visit would call it far beyond a “coincidence.” What is overlooked by so many is that while they claim to believe one thing, so many worship idols.

It doesn’t have to be a golden statue to be called an idol. Worship is whatever you give your attention to. Money, clothes, popularity and fame. These are all idols that people worship. Jesus once had a rich young man ask him how to get to heaven and when the rich man was faced with giving up his wealth he found himself in a predicament that could keep him from the Glory of God. It isn’t about having money, its about having such a hold on it that not even the golden streets of heaven will get you to release the clutch on the check book. In this story, money was the idol.

So, you heard my story about how my God answered my prayer, as simple as it was. Now, when was the last time your check book or your famed movie star that you “idolize” or even your popularity answered your deepest need? Whether it was healing your dying mother or getting you to your plane on time, there is only one God that can talk back and change your life.

Prayer is alive and active conversation with a living God who desires a relationship…who answers you when you cry out?

A myriad of excuses arise whenever people face difficulties, especially with marriage problems. Kyle and I began our first of 4 marriage pre-counseling sessions with the pastor who will be performing our ceremony. This week focused somewhat on getting to know us, but to also address a key component to maintaining the ability to work through issues. That key, the thing that can keep people together in even the most amazingly difficult times it agape.

Agape love is that love which comes from God and can not exist without God. There are in fact three types of love: philia, eros, and then agape. Philia may be somewhat recognizable…think of a famous Pennsylvania city-brotherly love or the love that you feel for your best friend. Then there is eros. This is that passionate, sexual love. For a marriage you need both eros and philia, and can’t be survive without the other. Then above both of the others is agape. Like I mentioned before, agape love is given first by God so we can in turn share it with others. It is sacrificial and unselfish (“For God so LOVED-agape-the world that he gave his only son”). Marriage needs all three types of love to survive but the key beyond loving each other with this love, is to first love God.

When there is a strain on your personal relationship with God, you not loving him as you should, then you in turn will face difficulty in loving others in this manner. It is like a triangle of components to maintain such a powerful love.

obey His word

/                       \

worship—prayer

When these 3 are cooperating then you will be experiencing the ability to love others (in this case your spouse) with that same agape love, thus loving them with a sacrificial love. How endearing is that. To be loved with a love that you know that that person would give their life for you. This in itself gives you a greater strength to withstand trials and tribulations. It makes something that was once breakable and fragile (depending on either Eros or philia) to intangible and permanent (agape). This is forever kind of love–this is the marriage that God intended.

Basketball is not a new phnomenon.  I just wasn’t introduced to its intricacies until several years ago and had the pleasure of my team not only doing well, but winning (twice!).  I say this as Kyle has the NCAA championship on (Kansas and Davidson is currently in process…Davidson ahead at this moment but its back and forth…good game).  Now, I never got into basketball because I didn’t understand it.  I didn’t know the fouls and intricacies of the game that make it so interesting.  Since being educated on such things (via my fiance who loves the game and played some himself), I have noticed that my enjoyment in the game has multiplied and I also was to learn to play myself.

I don’t think this is uncommon, or for that matter that this observation is unique.  I do believe that taking note of this has helped me with others who feel the same way about things I love (such as football with my brother-in-law, who grew up on soccer).  This can (and does) extend outside of the sports arenas into everyday life.  Where we are faced with conflict how often is it that the conflict arises because one or more of the individuals just does not understand all of the intricacies of the issue?

Just a little food for thought.

I feel the need to write more consistently lately, for one reason or another.  Granted the fact that I am exhausted, about 3 hours past when I normally crash, and have absolutely nothing on my mind right now probably does not help.  One of my friends detests blogs that ramble on in diary form, speaking of nothing but air.  He tries to form his around an article, discovery, once a very specific observation he made that he even included pictures to further his explanation.

To be honest, I prefer the to-the-point blog versus…well…this one.  But where I find myself is in somewhat of a rut; somewhat of a very large rut.  I have lost the time to do what I most enjoy doing and find most relaxing.  I use words to express myself on paper rather than in speech to avoid the trouble that is sure to follow had the other option been taken.  I use times like these to delve into and relish in a theory or idea that I play with in my mind and piece apart as best as I am able.  I use writing as a de-stresser, as a soothing mechanism, as a mediator, as a peace-maker.  I know the harshness that comes from words and I know the pure and living power that lives in words.  When misspoken, lives are changed, either for the better or for the worse (profound statement isn’t is?…what I mean is words have the capability of changing the life of someone, sending them over the moon (“will you marry me” or simply, “I love you.”) versus destroying someone or tearing them down (“I hate you” or “don’t bother, you wouldn’t make a difference anyway.”-lies that have been told to too many).

I think that is why I love writing.  In my head I have thoughts that bounce around so many times, they begin to bump and meld into one another.  When I write it, it is as if I immortalize a piece of my idea, something that sounds, well, pretty cool.  So as I begin to fall back into my routine (hopefully, we’ll see how I do), please bear with me.  I used to have a constant 30 or so that checked in each time a new post came up (that was cool!) whereas after two months I had 10 (imagine that).  I never had over 50…I never even had 50.  Perhaps I will peak an interest, who knows.  I might just have something worth saying

In the mornings I, despite griping about the early morning wake up that is required for work, greatly enjoy driving to work because for the first time ever, I catch the sun rise every morning.  I use this glorious sight as my reminder that I am not in control (very obvious by my rushing and running about in the early morning dash to attempt to get out of the house by 6:40 AM) but rather that God is in control of this universe (thankfully) and he has painted this beautiful masterpiece just for me (or so it seems at that moment).

Also in that same moment I often take a breath and begin by simply saying, “Good morning.” I figure I need to get myself squared away before the day truly begins with the general public and the best way to do that is to have my first conversation be with my Father in heaven.  He and I talk all the way into work.  Sometimes just praise for his beauty, and thanksgiving for everything he has given me, sometimes it is a plea for something I feel I need or desire.

This morning I began with a thankful heart, but it was greater than I normal.  For whatever reason I was overwhelm with how much my God has given me and done for me (and human kind) and then I began talking with him about rational and how I just could not understand it.

What was interesting was that I kind of began ranting, not at God but about different topics such as my desire to learn more about the language and context in which His word was written.  Then how some people see the need to dissect each and every word to the point of taking it out of context beyond what was ever actually said.

Interestingly enough, I took that thought to the Constitution, particularly with regards to the first amendment.  We all know “Freedom of religion.”  Our Founding Fathers came from a country whos government was butting into the business of the church, restricting how they were  worshiping Jesus Christ.  When they came and developed  America, they never said to keep Jesus out of the government, ironically, to keep the government our of worshiping Jesus (a little backwards from how it is today interestingly enough).

By the time I got to work I realized I had ranted about several different items but they were all a reflection of my heart.  I love God and I love the thought of defending him in some manner be it through government action via activism or through writing which I havent had enough down time to even stop and grasp them in a single coherent thought (as one might notice here).  I pray for further direction that I can serve Him more.